Humor about all things LGBTQ

  • February 2023
  • Image:  Facebook

    The Real Story

    News outlets are reporting that U.S. fighter aircraft shot down the Chinese surveillance balloon off the Atlantic coast today.

    That's bunk.

    What really happened is George Santos piloted Air Force One to Myrtle Beach, lassoed a whale to carry him out to sea, fired the shoulder-mounted missile launcher he made out of oyster shells and seaweed, and returned to D.C. in time to serve dinner to the homeless.

    I do wish the media would tell the truth.

  • Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay 

    This Week's Quote

    My sex life is now reduced to fan letters from an elderly lesbian who wants to borrow $800.

    Groucho Marx

    Source:  Wit

  • January 2023
  • Image by Annett_Klingner from Pixabay 

    Papal Position

    In an interview with The Associated Press last week, Pope Francis said homosexuality is a sin but not a crime.

    Some gay activists responded that the pope's outfit is a sin AND a crime.

  • Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay 

    He Should Know

    The former boyfriend of George Santos told CNN it was no surprise to him that Santos got himself elected to Congress. "What he always looked for was fame and power," said Pedro Vilarva. "That's all he cared about and he got it."

    Despite the plethora of calls for the Long Island Republican to resign over his exhaustive lying, Santos will stay put, his ex firmly believes. "His ego is too big," said Vilarva.

    Fame. Power. Lies. Ego. Republican. Good Lord, George Santos is Donald Trump's Mini-Me.

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    Image:  Facebook

    This Week's Quote

    The new story is that "George Santos" was a Drag Queen, and it’s honestly the only thing I like about him.
     
    Dana Goldberg
     
    Source: Twitter
  • Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay 

    Doc Shock

    I have no classified documents in my residence.

    I'm starting to feel like the only one.

  • Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

    A Perfect Fit

    It looks like Rep. George Santos will sit on the House Small Business Committee and the House Science, Space and Technology Committee.

    Santos must be thrilled. What could be better for the person who created Amazon, Microsoft and the universe?

  • Image:  Facebook

    This Week's Quote

    Someone once asked me, "How long does it take to do your hair." I said, "I don't know, I'm never there."

    Dolly Parton

    Source:  Brainyquote

  • Image:  Facebook

    Bank Account

    Many afternoons I stop in at Bank of America to make deposits for the small company I work for. Today's visit came with a show.

    Drive-throughs being a rare commodity these days, I walked into a BoA branch in north Seattle that I've patronized many times. As usual, there was only one teller, so I stood in the poky line.

    Suddenly shouts came from the cubicle area. A white woman was yelling at the temporary bank manager who'd apparently been helping her. He was a slightly built man of indeterminate race with an advanced fashion sense. At first I couldn't make her words out, then I heard, "I'd hate to dress like you do! I'd be embarrassed!"

    This from a person in old-school gray sweatpants.

    "I'm a businesswoman!" she bellowed. "Are you gay?!" she demanded.

    The manager, trying to get her out of his cubicle, kept his voice low, but he answered, "Yes I am."

    "You should kill yourself!" she yelled. "I hate gays! I hate Blacks, and spics," and some others I couldn't hear. By now I got a good look at her, and saw a face that suggested mental illness. This wasn't simply a hater, so I abandoned my impulse to stand in queer solidarity with the manager. Getting her out of the building was clearly what mattered.

    He succeeded, after she ranted some more, and we in line remarked to each other on the unexpected excitement.

    When I reached the teller, she told me that they're trained to deal with such events. I talked to the security guard outside, who said he's there to stop bank robberies, and it's the bank employees who are tasked with handling unruly customers.

    Those employees aren't paid enough. And after enduring that homophobic spectacle, neither am I.

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