- March 2023
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Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
Fine, I’ll admit it: I created Covid. I was making a smoothie from papaya, apple juice and coconut, then I absent-mindedly added a deadly bacteria and used the Pandemic setting on my blender. It happens. Get over it.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- April 2022
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Image: FacebookI read today that animal shelters are overwhelmed with surrendered pandemic pups.
Stop it, people. Surely you realize there aren't enough lesbians in America to fix this problem?
- March 2022
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Image: FacebookThe Girl Scouts in my neck of the woods have run out of a certain type of cookie they sell.
Given the war in Ukraine and the worldwide havoc caused by COVID, it'd be vastly inappropriate of me to call this cookie situation a crisis.
But I think it's fair to ask: How can I be expected to cope with the real crises without the aid of Thin Mints?
- January 2022
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- December 2021
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It's Christmas day. Santa brought me a cold.
This was already a less than cheery holiday for me. In the last five months, my mother passed away, my divorce became final and my brother-in-law received a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer.
Add in the brand spanking new COVID variant, inflation and my exasperation over the willingness of so many of my countrymen to continue believing in the lies of Hey Mr. Tangerine Man, and, well, let's just say I've been taking to heart those enlightened messages about how happiness at Christmas isn't required.
I've aimed to leaven my Scrooge-like impulses with a little whimsy. My mask of choice these last weeks features Snow Miser and Heat Miser, two flashy characters from the 1974 Rankin/Bass Christmas special "The Year Without a Santa Claus."
Unfortunately, so few people have recognized the images that I feel like a 500-year-old. With a cold.
Today I'm wearing socks I got as a gift last year. They're purple with snowflakes—and rainbow stripes and unicorns.
It's a lonely Christmas, but thank goodness I have queer whimsy to help see me through.
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Image: WikipediaRecently the hosts of "Fox & Friends" claimed that the Omicron variant was created to help make openly gay Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg president in 2024. The conspiracy theory goes that Democrats want the pandemic to continue for years so that Buttigieg has an excuse for not fixing the supply chain.
Nuttier than an almond tree grove.
The Fox fantasy did get me thinking about the possibility of Buttigieg one day becoming president. I believe we're still a ways from the country choosing a gay person for the Oval Office. If the election were held right this minute, not even the Stephen Sondheim sympathy vote would be sufficient.
- September 2021
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Image by Julie Rose from Pixabay
After 18 years together and two children, Colorado Gov. Jared Polis and Marlon Reis made honest men of each other last week, marrying in a traditional Jewish ceremony.
Every wedding guest was required to test negative for COVID.
I wonder whether, instead of a glass, the grooms stepped on a test tube.
- March 2021
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Image by Alexandra_Koch from Pixabay
But It's Worth It
Yesterday I got my second COVID-19 vaccine. Today I have all the energy of a sock.
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Image by Gajanand Malethiya from Pixabay
Can't Wait for Round Two
A few hours ago I got my first COVID vaccine. I feel fine. And this second head is so fetching.
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