- May 2023
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Image: FacebookAs a Seattle Storm fan, I've been spoiled. The team has won four championships since 2004. But the Storm's season opener on Saturday made it clear my team is going to be mediocre or worse this year.
I find myself reacting in two extreme ways. Sometimes I swear a blue streak. And sometimes, with the back of my hand delicately pressed to my forehead, I peer about for an antique divan I can swoon upon, ashen but ravishing thanks to an instant case of consumption.
- December 2022
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Image: FacebookBrittney Griner is coming home. Finally. The lesbian Phoenix Mercury star was released from Russian custody in a one-for-one prisoner swap.
While the circumstances aren't perfect—Russia refused to include another incarcerated American in the deal, for instance—Griner will be back with her family after a nine-month trip through hell as a political pawn.
I'm so relieved. And during the upcoming WNBA season, I'm sure I'll be downright pleased when Griner leads the Mercury to victory over my team, the Seattle Storm.
As long as it happens only once.
- September 2022
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Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay Tomorrow is Sunday, and I fully expect to attend church here in Seattle.
Of course, other people refer to it as the WNBA semifinals.
- May 2022
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Image: FacebookI might make an official complaint.
As a Seattle Storm season-ticket holder, I went to last night's game against the Chicago Sky fully expecting a family-friendly event.
What did I see? Rampant heterosexuality.
My lesbian friends and I were surrounded by amorous straight people. Sitting next to us, in front of us, behind us. One couple was just in their teens!
If they have to be that way, must they flaunt it?
Thank goodness a lesbian couple got engaged on the court during halftime. A bit of normalcy that helped me endure the evening.
At tomorrow's game, if I'm again encircled by heteros kissing and being as bold as you please, I'll tell them all to knock it off and remember where they are. We can tolerate their being at a WNBA game, but nobody needs to see that freaky stuff.
Especially not the children.
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Image: Facebook
There's an unconfirmed report that Russia hopes to trade American basketball star Brittney Griner for an arms trafficker serving a 25-year sentence in the U.S.
In a simpler time, I only imagined Griner being traded for a forward, a point guard and two draft picks.
- April 2022
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Image: Facebook
I need you to tell me if I'm being too sensitive.
It feels like something has shifted in women's basketball. Over the last couple of years, I've noticed an affinity, especially among Black college players, for wearing false eyelashes on the court. During the NCAA tournament, Champion repeatedly ran an ad featuring empowered and sensual young female athletes, the leader of whom didn't have nails so much as lacquered talons. Yesterday during the WNBA draft, the announcers gushed over players being fashion plates.
It's enough to make a curmudgeonly lesbian suspicious. And nauseous.
Is homophobia at the root of this push to feminize players? Are young athletes feeling the need to scream they're not dykes? Or is there just a whole lot of self-expression going on, and I'm too jaundiced to see it?
Help me. I've jumped to a conclusion and I can't get down.
- March 2022
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Image: FacebookMultiple outlets are reporting that American basketball star Brittney Griner has been arrested in Russia on charges of illegally bringing drugs into the country. Apparently customs officers discovered hash oil in her luggage at the Moscow airport in February.
Now there are questions galore, most notably, has Griner been in jail all this time?
It could be that the African American lesbian is about to find herself a Russian bargaining chip. It feels strange to call someone who's 6-foot-9 an international "pawn."
- October 2021
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Photo: FacebookWhen the Chicago Sky captured the WNBA title today, the women's professional basketball season ended. The women's college basketball season doesn't start in earnest for a couple of months.
It's a gloomy period between seasons for this lesbian women's hoops fan. If you want me, I'll be hanging out with Punxsutawney Phil.
- September 2021
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Photo: FacebookSome of Us Are More Bereft Than Others
The Seattle Storm, the defending WNBA champion and apple of my eye, lost in the playoffs today. The Storm's season is over.
I ask you to observe a moment of silence.
- May 2021
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Photo: Facebook
I Have My Priorities
The WNBA season is about to start, and I'm worried.
My team, the Seattle Storm, is the defending champion. Last fall, Storm point guard Sue Bird became engaged to soccer star Megan Rapinoe, and just recently Storm forward Breanna Stewart successfully popped the question to her girlfriend, Spanish hoopster Marta Xargay.
Will Bird and Stewart have the required fire in their bellies to repeat as champions now that they're giddy in love?
I tell you, for the first time, I'm questioning whether same-sex marriage was such a hot idea.
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