- May 2023
As a Seattle Storm fan, I've been spoiled. The team has won four championships since 2004. But the Storm's season opener on Saturday made it clear my team is going to be mediocre or worse this year.
I find myself reacting in two extreme ways. Sometimes I swear a blue streak. And sometimes, with the back of my hand delicately pressed to my forehead, I peer about for an antique divan I can swoon upon, ashen but ravishing thanks to an instant case of consumption.
- September 2022
Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay
Tomorrow is Sunday, and I fully expect to attend church here in Seattle.
Of course, other people refer to it as the WNBA semifinals.
- August 2022
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
A couple of hours ago, I got out of my car to pump gas at a station just beyond Seattle. As I lifted the nozzle, a vehicle nearby honked and I jerked my head up. I saw a car pull up on the other side of my pump; the driver was an older Asian woman. Behind her car was the pick-up that had honked at her.
A middle-aged white man got out of the truck, saying something that ended with "supposed to pull up, stupid!"
I jumped in immediately, offering a sarcastic, "You're a charmer." He replied, "Thanks."
There was no more bravado, as he carefully avoided my gaze for the duration. I don't know whether the woman was aware of any of this. She pumped her gas, and I dilly-dallied by using the squeegee on my windows.
They certainly needed it.
All I knew in that moment was, if this fella intended to Asian-bash, I was going to make it very hard for him.
Eventually they both pulled away, so I did, too. Later, as the adrenaline evaporated, I wondered if I'd done the wrong thing. My automatic instinct was to protect the woman, but I'd run the risk of escalating things by putting him down. Could I have defused the situation in some way? Further, he might've been armed or insane. Or armed AND insane.
It's so hard to know what to do when an ugly incident breaks out in front of you. At least on this occasion the woman departed unscathed, the man was put on notice and my windows are cleaner than they've been all summer.
Periodically I receive in my mailbox that blue envelope that's full of coupons for area businesses, ranging from vinyl siding to restaurants.
One of the recent Valpak offerings made my eyes bug out. Across the top of the ad for a business called Dazzle, a banner blared "The Gayest Cleaning Company in America!"
Wow. Using gayness as a selling point. Only in Seattle.
The second letter in "Dazzle" was stylized into a house—with vertical rainbow stripes. On the back of the ad, a dog wearing a scarf and oversized sunglasses, holding a glass of champagne and colorful shopping bags, didn't exactly suggest cleaning, so I guess that was another gay reference.
I realized I'd automatically gone into decoding mode while looking over the insert. I wouldn't have thought twice about the phrasing for any other cleaning company's ad. But I thought several times about Dazzle's offer of a discount for deluxe cleaning that promised to be "top to bottom."
- May 2022
I might make an official complaint.
As a Seattle Storm season-ticket holder, I went to last night's game against the Chicago Sky fully expecting a family-friendly event.
What did I see? Rampant heterosexuality.
My lesbian friends and I were surrounded by amorous straight people. Sitting next to us, in front of us, behind us. One couple was just in their teens!
If they have to be that way, must they flaunt it?
Thank goodness a lesbian couple got engaged on the court during halftime. A bit of normalcy that helped me endure the evening.
At tomorrow's game, if I'm again encircled by heteros kissing and being as bold as you please, I'll tell them all to knock it off and remember where they are. We can tolerate their being at a WNBA game, but nobody needs to see that freaky stuff.
Especially not the children.
- June 2021
Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
Hot, Hot, Hot
Here in Seattle today we reached an all-time record temperature of 104. If Seattle Pride hadn't been virtual, oodles of twinks in designer underwear would've frolicked in the Seattle Center's enormous fountain . . . and hordes of heat-crazed older lesbians in sports bras would've mowed them down to get at the water.
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