- May 2023
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Image: Facebook
Boebert and Greene, who've attacked marriage equality as against God's law, are both getting divorced. Their children have all expressed a desire to live with Pete and Chasten Buttigieg.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- April 2023
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Photo by Casey Schackow on Unsplash
NYC hates Trump so passionately that his getting arrested is the only way we'd give him a parade.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- March 2023
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Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
Fine, I’ll admit it: I created Covid. I was making a smoothie from papaya, apple juice and coconut, then I absent-mindedly added a deadly bacteria and used the Pandemic setting on my blender. It happens. Get over it.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- February 2023
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Image: Facebook
Since the group financing the "He Gets Us" Jesus ads also wants to ban all reproductive freedom and LGBTQ civil rights, the ads should be called:
- MyJesus
- He Gets Some Of Us But Not You, Homo
- Jesus Gets Sarah Sanders
- Florida Jesus
- Jesus-a-Lago
- Limited Warranty Jesus
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- January 2023
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Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay
Republican cardio consists of running from reporters who have questions about your lies, running away to Cancun during a crisis, and running away from a riot you encouraged.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- November 2022
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Image: Facebook
Tom Cotton is hawking his book "Only The Strong." Josh Hawley is writing a book on masculinity. Alfred E. Neuman is smarter than both of them put together, and cuter.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- October 2022
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The new designation should be LGBTQECJBSAI, meaning Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Except Caitlyn Jenner Because She's An Idiot.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- August 2022
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Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
I just voted in the Democratic Primary in NYC's West Village. My polling place is so liberal that instead of I Voted stickers we were given hemp ponchos, long silver braids, vintage bicycles, Birkenstocks and NPR totebags filled with apples and back issues of The New Yorker.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- July 2022
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Image: Wikipedia
Lindsey Graham is reportedly FURIOUS that he's been subpoenaed in Georgia where he tried to undermine the election results. He's yowled, "I shall NEVER testify, and if I do testify I shall not wear any of my Meemaw's fine JEWELRY! Do you HEAR ME?"
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- June 2022
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Image by Ray Shrewsberry • *** from Pixabay
The gay Log Cabin Republicans are very upset that Texas Repubs have kicked them out of the party. The Log Cabin folks have issued the statement, "But we're bigoted, lying idiots too! We love Trump! We hate ourselves! We're like Ted Cruz only with bowties! Isn't that enough?"
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- March 2022
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Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay
Between Jessica Chastain's speech combining Tammy Faye and LGBTQ rights, Ariana DeBose and Lady Gaga and Liza, tonight's Oscars will never be mentioned in a Florida classroom. Bless them all.Paul RudnickSource: Twitter - February 2022
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Russia is now claiming a teenage Olympic athlete's drug test may have been "contaminated" by a mixup with "a medication her grandfather was taking." Which explains why the skater tested positive for Viagra, Lipitor and Tums.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- January 2022
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- December 2021
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If Christmas was invented to benefit capitalists, New Year's Eve was invented to benefit therapists.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
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Image by Mystic Art Design from Pixabay
There's only one solution to the Santa shortage: tell children that this year they should write their letters directly to Amazon.
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
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