- May 2023
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Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay Emboldened by last year's Supreme Court decision allowing a high school football coach to pray with his players, Christian conservatives around the nation are looking to shred the line between church and state.
But everything is bigger in Texas, where a solid handful of religion bills passed by the Texas Senate are enough to make you reach for the holy water.
A bill to require that the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom is getting attention, but it's another offering that indicates to me we have a problem of biblical proportions.
According to The Washington Post, one bill "would allow uncertified chaplains to replace trained, professional counselors in K-12 school."
Jesus H. Christ, you know what that means. A kid divulges he's gay, and is informed he's headed to hell. Another kid wonders if they're trans, and the chaplain goes straight to their parents. A girl confesses to liking another girl, and is instructed to wear skirts and quit softball.
So many queer adults were shunned, abused and vilified as young people by Christian churches. We know what harm this bill would cause.
Gird your loins. No, I'm not suggesting we go to war and slay 1,000 with the jawbone of an ass. I'm suggesting we call out some boneheads and asses.
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Image: FacebookThis week Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed bills in front of a cheering crowd at the evangelical Cambridge Christian School in Tampa.
I guess that's the best place to be when you're signing bills that will ban gender-affirming care for minors, force trans people to use the wrong bathroom, expand the Don't Say Gay law and target drag shows.
In the early days of Christianity, Christians were thrown to the lions. Now DeSantis is throwing LGBTQ people to the Christians.
- April 2023
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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on UnsplashGive Me That Old-Time Religion
Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert is so far-right she can't even look left when she turns. The born-again Boebert, who supports a number of Christian nationalist positions, is notoriously anti-queer.
So it was fascinating to hear her expound on the fact that her 17-year-old son impregnated his 14-year-old girlfriend. Biblically speaking, premarital sex is a well-known no-no.
When a conservative talk show host asked her if her's son's situation "challenged" her Christian beliefs, Boebert replied, "We can nitpick what the Bible says is right and wrong, but I think just having that heart posture of wanting to serve God, and do the right thing, is so important."
We can nitpick? Who knew? You mean we can view the Bible's anti-gay clobber passages in a different light? Wow!
What we're dealing with here is that old-time Christian convenience. When it suits Boebert's needs to villify someone, she sticks to a literal interpretation. When the sinner in question is a family member, suddenly the Bible is more elastic, more springy.
For her son, it's morphed into a sponge cake.
- March 2023
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Image: WikipediaIf you're caught having gay sex in the largely conservative Christian nation of Uganda, you can go to prison for life.
But some lawmakers in the African state believe that's not a strong enough deterrent, and it's time for a bigotry boost.
So yesterday parliament took up a bill that would criminalize simply identifying as LGBTQ.
Go to prison for being born the person you are. Here's hoping Ugandan politicians don't take a dislike to the left-handed. Or geniuses. Or nose-whistlers.
- February 2023
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Image: FacebookSince the group financing the "He Gets Us" Jesus ads also wants to ban all reproductive freedom and LGBTQ civil rights, the ads should be called:
- MyJesus
- He Gets Some Of Us But Not You, Homo
- Jesus Gets Sarah Sanders
- Florida Jesus
- Jesus-a-Lago
- Limited Warranty Jesus
Paul Rudnick
Source: Twitter
- August 2022
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Image: FacebookHey Kids, Let's Put on a Show!
You've probably heard how a Christian church in Texas recently presented its own version of "Hamilton," editing lines to reference Jesus, and concluding with a sermon in which the pastor likened homosexuality to alcoholism and drug addiction.
The theater team behind "Hamilton" has condemned the "unauthorized changes" in this "illegal" production.
For my part, I'm still marveling that the church thought it made sense to deliver a homophobic message through a Broadway musical. It's like hosting a barbecue and preaching vegetarianism.
- May 2022
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Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay At the Christian Academy of Louisville in Kentucky, middle schoolers received a challenging homework assignment, reports LGBTQ Nation.
Students were told to write a letter to a hypothetical friend of the same gender. "In at least 8 sentences, try to show the friend from the Bible, reason, and your personal friendship that God's design for them is good; that homosexuality will not bring them satisfaction, that you love them even though you don't approve of their lifestyle."
Presumably the student who writes six sentences on Leviticus, one sentence on human anatomy and one sentence on a friendship dating back to diapers will earn an A.
The student who writes, "My brother is gay. Get me the hell out of this school," will earn an F and a trip to the principal's office.
- April 2022
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Image by waldryano from Pixabay
On his daily show, televangelist and felon Jim Bakker mentioned Florida's Don't Say Gay law, and went on to claim that, when it comes to controversial social issues, preachers aren't "going to be able to preach much longer, because they'll shoot us in the pulpit. They will kill us in our pulpits. You don't believe me? They're already doing it."
I missed the memo. I went to church today and didn't give my minister so much as a noogie.
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- December 2021
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Image: FacebookBecause I have entirely too much German blood in me, I view every holiday as an excuse to gorge on European chocolate.
Which is why I bought a box of Lindt chocolates at Costco yesterday. After checking out, I looked at my receipt. This collection of mini chocolate Santas and truffles in a uniquely shaped container I'd just purchased? Costco calls it a "Hex Box."
I'm a lesbian buying witchcraft supplies. At Christmas.
I bet I'm the talk of Southern Baptists from Bisbee, Ariz., to Sopchoppy, Fla.
- October 2021
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Campus Pride has released its list of the worst colleges and universities nationwide for LGBT youth.
It's no surprise that most of the schools on the list are Christian. After all, in his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus famously urged, "Judge often, and judge early, lest someone else get there first."
Some of the names on the list are predictable, like Liberty University, Bob Jones University and Oral Roberts University. Then there are the smaller Christian schools without a national profile.
Consider Corban University in Oregon, which in 2014 chose a professor specializing in "unwanted same-sex attractions" to chair the psychology department. At Hannibal-LaGrange University in Missouri, the employee handbook states, "Misuses of God’s gift will be understood to include, but will not be limited to, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, sexual assault, incest, adultery, fornication, and homosexual acts."
Always makes my day when sexual assault and homosexuality get equal billing.
To earn a spot on Campus Pride's list of the worst, these 180 institutions had to demonstrate a history of anti-LGBTQ practices, or have sought a Title IX religious exemption to discriminate against LGBTQ youth.
In other words, scattershot discrimination isn't sufficient. When it comes to bigotry, these are the schools that have distinguished themselves by giving it the old college try.
- September 2021
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Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay In her new memoir, Cassandra Peterson, aka Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, reveals she's been in a relationship with a woman for almost 20 years.
The time it'll take for Pat Robertson to draw a direct line between homosexuality and all things satanic, ghoulish and spooky? About the time it takes to devour a Reese's peanut butter pumpkin.
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Remembering 9/11 . . . and 9/13
In the lead-up to today, the 20th anniversary of 9/11, I've heard frequent laments for the national unity we Americans felt and displayed in the days after the attacks. This isn't surprising, considering we're now a nation of fissures.
I remember that feeling. A complete wuss where needles are concerned, even I was prepared to give blood. As much as they needed. As long as they knocked me out first.
But I also remember that, for some, unity wasn't on the agenda.
Two days after the planes flew into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Jerry Falwell appeared on Pat Robertson's "700 Club" TV show, and offered this: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way – all of them who have tried to secularize America – I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"
Robertson heartily agreed. During a period of monumental national sorrow, America's two most prominent conservative Christian leaders chose to demonize queer people and our fellow travelers.
After an outcry, Robertson blamed Falwell. The televangelists couldn't even manage unity in their disunity.
Looking back, I suspect the issue was partly timing. The nation was too raw. If they'd waited a month to blame gays and feminists and liberals, they might've been better received, not come across as heartless, vicious toadstools.
I guess they just got caught up in their enthusiasm for sharing God's love.
- July 2021
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Photo: Wikipedia
The LGBTQ community just received a gift.
Of the many individuals renowned for battling queer rights over the years, Anita Bryant stands out for the virulence of her attack, her Christian smugness and the fact that she was a whole lot better-looking than Jerry Falwell.
When Florida's Miami-Dade County banned employment and housing discrimination against gays in 1977, Bryant formed Save Our Children, famously reasoning that "Homosexuals cannot reproduce, so they must recruit."
The beauty queen and singer, who called gays "human garbage," flogged fears of kids being indoctrinated and molested. "Before I yield to this insidious attack on God and His laws, I will lead such a crusade to stop it as this country has not seen before," said Joan of Arc with a bouffant.
This week, Anita Bryant's granddaughter announced her engagement to a woman.
Bryant turned many people off religion, but hearing she has a lesbian granddaughter might bring them back again.
- June 2021
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