- September 2023
- August 2023
After watching the dramatic and painful loss of the US Women's National Soccer Team to Sweden in the World Cup, I went online to read some expert assessment.
Unfortunately, the first thing Google showed me was a tweet by someone named Benny Johnson, whose expertise isn't in soccer, but he's a whiz at conservative fanaticism.
Johnson crowed over the the "Woke US Women's Soccer Humiliation," declaring that "Team USA's downfall was delivered by anti-America, anti-woman activist Megan Rapinoe's EMBARRASSING free kick here," and he included the video.
I assume Johnson called Rapinoe "anti-woman" because she supports transgender women athletes, from whom conservatives these days are giddily trying to "protect" cisgender girls and women.
But how can anyone actually accuse an out lesbian of being opposed to women? I guess it's news to Johnson that a deep emotional and erotic connection to women are lesbian ground rules. It says so in my handbook.
- July 2023
After the organizer of the Miss Italy pageant declared transgender women aren't allowed to compete, the queer community found a creative way to protest: over 100 trans men signed up for the pageant.
I suspect the next step in this brouhaha will be the invention of some entirely new Italian hand gestures.
Well, that didn't take long.
Just weeks after the Supreme Court, citing the First Amendment, decided it's acceptable for some business owners to discriminate against LGBTQ people, the owner of a Michigan hair salon has cozied up to the idea.
Christine Geiger, writing on the Facebook page for her Studio 8 Hair Lab, declared, "If a human identifies as anything other than a man/woman, please seek services at a local pet groomer."
I wonder if her scissors are as sharp as her tongue.
"You are not welcome at this salon. Period," noted Geiger. "This is America; free speech. This small business has the right to refuse services."
In a breathtaking display of ignorance, Geiger wrote in another Facebook post, "I have no issues with LGB. It’s the TQ+ that I’m not going to support. For those that don’t know what the + is for, it’s for MAP (Minor Attracted Person aka: pedophile)."
It most certainly is not. But she's given me an idea for a new acronym evoking a person who swallows right-wing conspiracy theories and acts out of hate, fear and utter cluelessness. She's a Dangerous Ignorant Minion Wallowing In Terror. She's a DIMWIT.
- June 2023
During a CNN town hall over the weekend, Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley actually linked teen girls' suicidal ideation with transgender girls being in locker rooms.
"How are we supposed to get our girls used to the fact that biological boys are in their locker room? And then they wonder why a third of our teenage girls seriously contemplated suicide last year," she said.
That's nothing. When a lunch lady loses her hair net in the mac and cheese, all the teenage girls want to commit suicide.
Something occurred to me concerning the folks who are so riled up over Drag Queen Story Hour: Why haven't they offered to read to children themselves?
Many an embittered queer would answer, Because they can't read. But I know that isn't true, and I think these stalwarts of family values are ignoring a great opportunity.
Just think how kids would react as red-blooded American males manfully read aloud from such classics as "Harold and the Non-Gay Purple Crayon," "Uncurious George," "Where the Wild Things Better Not Be" and "Horton Hears a Howitzer!"
- May 2023
This week Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed bills in front of a cheering crowd at the evangelical Cambridge Christian School in Tampa.
I guess that's the best place to be when you're signing bills that will ban gender-affirming care for minors, force trans people to use the wrong bathroom, expand the Don't Say Gay law and target drag shows.
In the early days of Christianity, Christians were thrown to the lions. Now DeSantis is throwing LGBTQ people to the Christians.
I have as much interest in auto racing as I do in particle physics.
But Lewis Hamilton keeps trying to change that. British, Black and straight, the champion Formula One driver wore a rainbow helmet in 2021 at the Qatar Grand Prix and Saudi Arabian Grand Prix as a strong show of allyship in those nations with notoriously homophobic laws.
This weekend Hamilton will break out the rainbow helmet again in another place with restrictive laws: Florida!
He brought it along for the Miami Grand Prix, saying, "I stand by those within the community here. I hope they continue to stand firm and push back. I'll have the rainbow on my helmet. It's no different to when we were in Saudi."
Take that in: Florida is no different from Saudi Arabia. Mickey Mouse is wringing his white gloves in shame.
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis spearheaded the Sunshine State's anti-queer agenda because he wants to run for president. Okay then, he should run: in Saudi Arabia.
- April 2023
Today the House passed a bill banning transgender girls and women from competing in female school athletics. Every Republican voted for the "Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act," while every Democrat voted against this culture-war gift to conservatives.
Yesterday the Florida Board of Education voted to expand the state's Don't Say Gay law. The ban on classroom instruction about sexual orientation and gender identity that had applied to kindergarden through third grade will now extend clear up to senior year in high school.
But don't despair! On Monday an openly gay congressman announced that he's running for re-election.
Okay, the congressman was George Santos.
I'll allow you 15 minutes of despair.
This week Equality Florida took the remarkable step of issuing a travel advisory.
What, have the manatees taken to mugging tourists? Might the roseate spoonbills declare war on the flamingos? Are Mickey and Minnie harvesting organs?
No, Equality Florida warns that the Sunshine State is a potentially unsafe place to visit or take up residence, thanks to "passage of laws that are hostile to the LGBTQ+ community, restrict access to reproductive health care, repeal gun safety laws and allow untrained, unpermitted carry, and foment racial prejudice. The Governor has also weaponized state agencies to impose sanctions against businesses large and small that disagree with his attacks on diversity, equity, and inclusion."
That's a lot. Goofy coming at you with a knife and fork would be easier to handle.
I assume that as long as Gov. Ron DeSantis uses Florida as a staging ground for his presidential aspirations, things will continue to worsen. Pretty soon you'll need a visa to visit Ft. Lauderdale, and vaccinations to enter Tampa. And if you hope to walk down Duval St. in Key West, you'd best be surrounded by a UN peacekeeping force.
- March 2023
Drag Shows don’t kill kids.
Books don’t kill kids.
Green m&m’s don’t kill kids.
Big Bird doesn’t kill kids.
AP courses, don’t kill kids.
Learning history, doesn’t kill kids.
Dolly Parton’s & Miley Cyrus rainbow song, doesn’t kill kids.
Fucking guns are the #1 killer of kids.
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