- June 2022
In Saudi Arabia, the government is chasing rainbows.
The Saudi Commerce Ministry recently posted a video on Twitter showing its employees in stores, hot on the trail of rainbow-hued clothes and toys.
The government says rainbow colors evoke the Pride flag and promote homosexuality in children.
That is, of course, exactly how a gay person is created. Hand a three-year-old boy a rainbow teddy bear and rest assured that by 10 he'll be sewing it Joan Crawford's waitress outfit from "Mildred Pierce."
The Commerce Ministry's super sleuths comb through stores, seizing and confiscating "products that contain symbols and signs that call for aberration and contradict correct nature," according to the Twitter post. Retail establishments caught with aberration-pushing hats and backpacks are penalized.
A TV reporter followed some of these courageous hunters of rainbows through what appears to be a mall in the capital city of Riyadh. Everything they took from a store sat in a pile on the floor, a sad rainbow mound. "It indirectly promotes homosexuality," a ministry official declared of one item, while a voice-over decreed the toys "are nothing but poisoned messages that target the innocence of children."
If Saudi officials believe that playing with a rainbow fidget toy will make a child homosexual, do they believe playing Chinese checkers on a hexagram-shaped board will make a child Jewish?
- April 2022
On this April Fools' Day, choose which of the following is a hoax:
—Fox News has signed Caitlyn Jenner to be a contributor.
—Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene claims to be working on a federal Don't Say Gay bill.
—A Nebraska state senator declared schools are placing litter boxes in bathrooms for children who self-identify as cats.
Think you know which is balderdash? The answer is . . . none! Each statement is true.
With realities like these, April Fools' Day kind of loses its luster.
- March 2022
A recent display of both stupidity and bigotry made national news, and I'm not talking about the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee.
The owners of a dog named Fezco dumped him at a shelter in Stanly County, N.C. Fezco had humped a male dog, so the owners thought he was gay.
Where to start?
The owners plainly didn't know that mounting is a dominance behavior among dogs. What they did know is they were appalled at the idea of having a homosexual dog.
I'm fighting the impulse to say these people are too stupid to live. Obviously, I just lost the fight.
When ignorance and prejudice combine, humans often get hurt, but in this case the victim was a five-year-old mutt.
With heartworm. It turned out the owners had, apparently, never taken the dog to the vet.
I'll put you out of your misery right now: This tale has a tail-wagging conclusion.
Longtime partners Steve Nichols and John Winn of the greater Charlotte area saw Fezco's story on TV, and promptly adopted him. They renamed him Oscar for—uh huh—Oscar Wilde. Sounds to me like a big gay raspberry blown at the previous owners.
Oscar was immediately scheduled for neutering and heartworm treatment at an animal hospital, but is expected to be in his new home at the end of the week.
"I know it’s silly to think that a dog is gay, but if he wants to be gay as hell, he can be gay here," said Nichols.
One more straight mess cleaned up by gays. I think it's time to start bestowing medals.
- January 2022
- September 2021
- June 2021
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