- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- May 2022
- March 2022
The Girl Scouts in my neck of the woods have run out of a certain type of cookie they sell.
Given the war in Ukraine and the worldwide havoc caused by COVID, it'd be vastly inappropriate of me to call this cookie situation a crisis.
But I think it's fair to ask: How can I be expected to cope with the real crises without the aid of Thin Mints?
- February 2022
Many people are making fun of Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene for saying in an interview, "Now we have Nancy Pelosi's gazpacho police spying on members of Congress." Yes, she confused the Nazi secret police, the Gestapo, with a Spanish soup.
But I think the far-right flake was onto something. I dislike gazpacho—I believe it SHOULD be policed.
- January 2022
- December 2021
Because I have entirely too much German blood in me, I view every holiday as an excuse to gorge on European chocolate.
Which is why I bought a box of Lindt chocolates at Costco yesterday. After checking out, I looked at my receipt. This collection of mini chocolate Santas and truffles in a uniquely shaped container I'd just purchased? Costco calls it a "Hex Box."
I'm a lesbian buying witchcraft supplies. At Christmas.
I bet I'm the talk of Southern Baptists from Bisbee, Ariz., to Sopchoppy, Fla.
- June 2021
Warning: I'm about to use so many baking references you might want to toss your cookies.
Last week, a bakery called Confections in Lufkin, Texas, posted a photo of rainbow heart cookies to its Facebook page, along with the sentiments, “More LOVE. Less hate. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQ friends! All lovers of cookies and happiness are welcome here."
It took no time at all for tempers to rise. (I warned you.)
Confections reported the next day on Facebook that it had lost a lot of followers over the post, and a dough-head of a customer had cancelled an order of five dozen cookies.
“My heart is heavy," wrote one of the owners. "Honestly I never thought a post that literally said more love less hate would result in this kind of backlash to a very small business that is struggling to stay afloat and spread a little cheer through baked goods."
Yes, the pronounced reaction did take the cake. Though I can't imagine any queer person was surprised.
Confections announced it would sell the canceled order as individually wrapped cookies, on the theory that half a loaf is better than none.
The next day, well, Lufkin proved that it's not a cookie-cutter Texas town. Confections opened to a line of supporters that lasted until it had sold out of every single thing.
The icing on the cake? "The last several people in our shop put money on their credit card for us to donate because there was nothing left to purchase.” The money will go to local animal rescues, so even cats and dogs got a piece of the pie.
On that memorable June 4th, the goods sold like hotcakes and the bakery found itself rolling in the dough. Confections had an actual pie-in-the-sky experience.
And I'll now shut my cake hole.
- May 2021
PinkNews has a story about right-wing groups incensed over Kellogg's new rainbow breakfast cereal, called "Together with Pride," whose sales will directly benefit GLAAD.
“Kellogg’s isn’t endorsing ‘pride,’ but a radical agenda that targets children and families,” blustered the Ruth Institute. By funding GLAAD, fumed 2nd Vote, Kellogg's is supporting the Equality Act, "an unprecedented attack on freedom of expression."
But it was the American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property that caught my attention by claiming the “pro-homosexual agenda is rearing its ugly head in your children’s cereal."
That's concerning. In my day, you found a plastic toy in children's cereal, not an ugly head.
- April 2021
if you don't feel gay enough when you wake up, help is coming.
PinkNews reports that Kellogg's is launching an LGBT-themed cereal in honor of Pride. "Together with Pride" will be made of rainbow heart-shaped pieces and—wait for it—edible glitter.
Just what I've always wanted. Sparkly intestines.
Familiar Kellogg's characters will grace the box, surely leading to speculation about the orientations of Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam and Snap, Crackle and Pop.
Starting in May, the cereal will retail at about $4. For each box sold, Kellogg's will donate $3 to GLAAD.
And that is—what else?—grrrreat!
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