Humor about all things LGBTQ

  • April 2022
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    Image:  Facebook

    Foul on Me?

    I need you to tell me if I'm being too sensitive.

    It feels like something has shifted in women's basketball. Over the last couple of years, I've noticed an affinity, especially among Black college players, for wearing false eyelashes on the court. During the NCAA tournament, Champion repeatedly ran an ad featuring empowered and sensual young female athletes, the leader of whom didn't have nails so much as lacquered talons. Yesterday during the WNBA draft, the announcers gushed over players being fashion plates.

    It's enough to make a curmudgeonly lesbian suspicious. And nauseous.

    Is homophobia at the root of this push to feminize players? Are young athletes feeling the need to scream they're not dykes? Or is there just a whole lot of self-expression going on, and I'm too jaundiced to see it?

    Help me. I've jumped to a conclusion and I can't get down.

  • Image:  Wikipedia

    Making History

    On Thursday the U.S. Senate confirmed Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court. It was a historic day, as she became the first Black woman elevated to the highest court in the land.

    It was historic for another reason, too. South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, because he wasn't wearing a tie, had to cast his "no" vote against Jackson from the Senate cloakroom.

    It's official. Lindsey Graham was really in the closet.

  • Image by Aibor omokhodion from Pixabay 

    Violently Illogical

    PinkNews reports that two men have been given life sentences for raping a lesbian teenager in South Africa.

    One of the men, while raping her, asked her to be his girlfriend.

    The only response I can think of is, "Naturally. And if you beat my head in with a hammer, I'll want to have your children."

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    Image:  Pexels

    This Week's Quote

    Loud. Proud. Still allowed.

    One of the ad campaign slogans announced by New York City Mayor Eric Adams aimed at convincing Florida queers to move to the Big Apple

    Source:  The Guardian

  • Image by DONT SELL MY ARTWORK AS IS from Pixabay 

    April 1

    On this April Fools' Day, choose which of the following is a hoax:

    —Fox News has signed Caitlyn Jenner to be a contributor.

    —Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene claims to be working on a federal Don't Say Gay bill.

    —A Nebraska state senator declared schools are placing litter boxes in bathrooms for children who self-identify as cats.

    Think you know which is balderdash? The answer is . . . none! Each statement is true.

    With realities like these, April Fools' Day kind of loses its luster.

  • March 2022
  • Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay 
     
     
    Between Jessica Chastain's speech combining Tammy Faye and LGBTQ rights, Ariana DeBose and Lady Gaga and Liza, tonight's Oscars will never be mentioned in a Florida classroom. Bless them all.
     
    Paul Rudnick
     
    Source:  Twitter
  • Image:  Facebook

    DeSantis Does the Deed

    Before signing the Don't Say Gay bill yesterday, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said, "We will make sure that parents can send their kids to school to get an education, not an indoctrination."

    He was surrounded by young children in their charter-school uniforms . . .  and cheered on by Pat Boone, Ozzie and Harriet, Robert E. Lee and Protestant Jesus.

  • Image:  Facebook

    Awards Awareness

    Yesterday evening, as I watched the NCAA women's basketball tournament on TV, I assumed I was tuned in to the most lesbionic viewing option of the night. 

    Imagine my surprise this morning when I read that, over on another channel, the Academy Awards had been busy going sapphic.

    In her acceptance speech after winning the Oscar for best supporting actress, Ariana DeBose said, "Imagine this little girl in the back seat of a white Ford Focus. Look into her eyes, you see an openly queer woman of color and Latina who found her life and strength in art. That’s what I believe we are here to celebrate."

    DeBose, who won for her turn as Anita in "West Side Story," added, "So to anybody who has ever questioned your identity, ever, ever, ever—you, you find yourself living in the gray spaces—I promise you this:  There is indeed a place for you."

    As she sought to inspire others, the first queer woman of color to win an Oscar invoked famous lyrics from her movie that were written by a beloved gay man who died four months ago. The nation must've been awash in rainbow tears last night.

    Kristen Stewart didn't take the Oscar for playing Princess Diana in "Spencer," but she strode the red carpet with her female fiance, Dylan Meyer. Also tripping the carpet fantastic were wife and wife Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts.

    Out comedian Wanda Sykes was one of three women to host the show. In a shot at Florida's Don't Say Gay bill, Sykes opened with, "We’re going to have a great night tonight—and for you people in Florida, we’re going to have a gay night,” and she and her co-hosts broke into choruses of "gay, gay, gay."

    They weren't lying. It feels like it was a breakthrough night for gay women. I'd like to thank the Academy.

  • Image:  The Charlotte Observer

    Dog Days

    A recent display of both stupidity and bigotry made national news, and I'm not talking about the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee.

    The owners of a dog named Fezco dumped him at a shelter in Stanly County, N.C. Fezco had humped a male dog, so the owners thought he was gay.

    Where to start?

    The owners plainly didn't know that mounting is a dominance behavior among dogs. What they did know is they were appalled at the idea of having a homosexual dog.

    I'm fighting the impulse to say these people are too stupid to live. Obviously, I just lost the fight.

    When ignorance and prejudice combine, humans often get hurt, but in this case the victim was a five-year-old mutt.

    With heartworm. It turned out the owners had, apparently, never taken the dog to the vet.

    I'll put you out of your misery right now: This tale has a tail-wagging conclusion.

    Longtime partners Steve Nichols and John Winn of the greater Charlotte area saw Fezco's story on TV, and promptly adopted him. They renamed him Oscar for—uh huh—Oscar Wilde. Sounds to me like a big gay raspberry blown at the previous owners.

    Oscar was immediately scheduled for neutering and heartworm treatment at an animal hospital, but is expected to be in his new home at the end of the week.

    "I know it’s silly to think that a dog is gay, but if he wants to be gay as hell, he can be gay here," said Nichols.

    One more straight mess cleaned up by gays. I think it's time to start bestowing medals.

  • Image:  Facebook

    This Week's Quote

    We get it, Senator Cornyn; you're still mad at gay marriage for taking away none of your rights.

    Chasten Buttigieg

    Source: Twitter

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    Image:  Facebook

    Where Dreams Come True

    LGBTQA Disney employees staged a walkout today to protest the company's silence on Florida's Don't Say Gay bill.

    Snow White and Mary Poppins used the occasion to announce their engagement.

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