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I love dogs.
The declaration is hardly a surprise, given that I'm a card-carrying lesbian.
But as I look around during this season of buying, even I think things have gotten out of hand. Or paw.
The latest Lands' End holiday catalog warns "Don't fur-get the four-legged friends on your list." Shoppers are encouraged to spend a small fortune on gifts for Fido, including a Christmas sweater, down vest and hooded robe. In my view, any dog forced into a robe on Christmas morning that's designed to make him look like a lobster is within his rights to go roll in something disgusting.
For the pet who has everything, Trader Joe's is offering advent calendars for dogs and cats, featuring salmon rather than chocolate. How a Newfoundland is supposed to open all those little perforated windows I don't know.
As canines aren't in the habit of creating wish lists or sending letters to Santa, and it's unlikely that visions of sugar plums dance in their heads, all these products are aimed at humans. They're the ones with the credit cards.
I absolutely get the desire to spoil a pet. But so many of these products are unnecessary for a dog, and a growing part of our mindless consumerism that harms the planet.
However, in this season of good will, I'll try to be open-minded. If a Schnauzer comes up to me and says she must see dog wine under the Christmas tree, well, I'll have a word with an elf. But dog cologne, dog nail polish and a bacon bubble blower machine are out of the question.