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Drama Queen

As a Seattle Storm fan, I've been spoiled. The team has won four championships since 2004. But the Storm's season opener on Saturday made it clear my team is going to be mediocre or worse this year.

I find myself reacting in two extreme ways. Sometimes I swear a blue streak. And sometimes, with the back of my hand delicately pressed to my forehead, I peer about for an antique divan I can swoon upon, ashen but ravishing thanks to an instant case of consumption.