- February 2022
Yet again, it's our fault. How do we live with ourselves?
According to Media Matters, right-wing media figures are having a fine old time pinning the Russian invasion of Ukraine on queers. If your head hurts trying to make the connection, I'll do it for you. Now that I've taken ibuprofen.
President Joe Biden's repeal of the ban on trans soldiers, along with the military's diversity training and general "wokeness," have all combined to weaken American forces to the point where Russian President Vladimir Putin saw his chance to invade Russia's neighbor.
On a Fox News show, Pete Hegseth claimed Americans have been "running around talking about genders and reparations," so "as a result, [Putin] thinks this is his moment to make an aggressive move."
Fox contributor Lisa Boothe tweeted, "America is weak. No one is afraid of us with dementia man in the White House and our focus is flying pride flags around the world."
Matt Walsh of the Daily Wire podcast said it was "not a coincidence that this has happened after Biden spent his first year in office focusing primarily on wokeness and intentionally making our military weaker and more feminine." He later added that Biden was attempting to “fill our military with lesbians who can’t do three pushups."
I wouldn't want to be Walsh when some lesbian sergeant challenges him to a pushup contest.
So thanks to integrating LGBTQ people into the military, American forces have been neutered, and Putin took advantage.
As these rightist talking heads blame us for the invasion, Christian fundamentalists, our usual accusers, haven't joined in.
Maybe they're just mad they didn't think of it first.
Yesterday, as Russian President Vladimir Putin unleashed his military on Ukraine, a man in Florida sang his praises.
"I mean, he's taking over a country for $2 worth of sanctions," said Donald Trump at a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser. "I'd say that's pretty smart. He's taking over a country—literally a vast, vast location, a great piece of land with a lot of people, and just walking right in."
Only Trump would describe an invasion as a real estate deal.
One presidential historian told The New York Times, "The idea that a former president would praise the man or leadership who U.S. troops are even now traveling to confront and contain is astounding."
The idea that the Republican Party would continue to let itself be led by a traitorous yam is astounding, but here we are.
Team LGBTQ entered the 2022 Winter Olympic Games in Beijing with more members than any previous Winter Games. Outsports has counted 36 out athletes from 14 different countries in multiple sports.
But what if these athletes were a country themselves, flying the rainbow flag and blaring Diana Ross’ “I’m Coming Out” for their national anthem?
Team LGBTQ would have finished these Winter Olympics ranked 12th in the medal standings, just ahead of Italy and Japan.
It's the day we Americans, conventionally, honor presidents past and present.
Okay. I'm willing to celebrate William Henry Harrison, even though he served only 31 days before dying, and James Buchanan, despite the fact that he helped bring on the Civil War.
But I can't get myself to honor that recent president who set fire to American institutions in the service of his own ego.
It would feel like honoring Mrs. O'Leary's cow.
Russia is now claiming a teenage Olympic athlete's drug test may have been "contaminated" by a mixup with "a medication her grandfather was taking." Which explains why the skater tested positive for Viagra, Lipitor and Tums.
Hell hasn't frozen over, but it's gotten noticeably nippy.
A Republican state senator in Arizona actually joined with Democrats in successfully voting to kill a bill that would've banned all gender-affirming medical procedures for minors. Furthermore, Sen. Tyler Pace said the testimony from transgender youth and their families influenced his vote.
"The testimonies we heard today about the many people who are using these avenues of medical treatments to save lives, to improve lives,” he said at a hearing. “I don’t want my vote to stop those great things."
Satan is now sporting mittens and mukluks.
Many people are making fun of Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene for saying in an interview, "Now we have Nancy Pelosi's gazpacho police spying on members of Congress." Yes, she confused the Nazi secret police, the Gestapo, with a Spanish soup.
But I think the far-right flake was onto something. I dislike gazpacho—I believe it SHOULD be policed.
This “don’t say gay” bill in Florida is appalling. Punishing teachers for acknowledging gay people exist is archaic.
If you want to ban an actual offensive word from Florida schools, may I suggest “DeSantis.”
Gay billionaire Peter Thiel is leaving the board of Facebook's parent company, reportedly because he wants to focus on supporting candidates in the November midterm elections who back Donald Trump's agenda.
Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot himself in the testicles?
A little over six months ago, basketball star Sue Bird carried the American flag in the opening ceremony of the Tokyo Olympics. Yesterday speedskater Brittany Bowe carried Old Glory in the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics.
Bowe replaced bobsledder Elana Meyers Taylor, who'd tested positive for COVID.
That's the story, anyway. I suspect there's really just a tacit understanding in the American camp these days that the flagbearer should be a lesbian.
The Republican National Committee voted today to censure GOP Reps. Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger for sitting on the Jan. 6 committee. The RNC censure resolution blasts the two for "participating in a Democrat-led persecution of ordinary citizens engaged in legitimate political discourse."
So killing cops and pooping in the halls of Congress is now "legitimate political discourse."
The most popular breakout session at the next Republican National Convention will be "Expressing Your Annoyance Through Drawing and Quartering."
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