Halloween Frights

Image by Bany_MM from Pixabay

It's Halloween, and the terror is real.

Here in the greater Seattle area, I walked into a post office yesterday morning to find only two customers ahead of me. Great, I thought, this won't take long. The first woman was spending the money to send a ballot Priority Mail, I guessed to a child in college. That's commitment.

The second customer appeared to be a grandmother, with grandchild in tow. She all but made the clerk swear by the United States Postal Service creed that her ballot would arrive in Arizona by Election Day.

This is a liberal region, and I presumed both of these ballots would be cast for Kamala Harris. With Arizona'a swing-state status, I fervently hoped the grandmother's ballot would arrive on time, and I brooded over the potential consequences of all the swing states . . . and by the time I got out of there I couldn't have told you my own zip code.

Yesterday evening I attended a "Pre-Election Spiritual Retreat" at my church. The ministers offered poetry, breathing exercises and words of wisdom designed to help us retain emotional equilibrium over the days ahead.

I tried to be receptive. But I know perfectly well that my best shot at staying sane during this obscenely tense period is to don a costume right now that allows someone 61 to pass for 12, rush out into the neighborhood and procure enough 3 Musketeers and Hershey Bars to last me till Thanksgiving.