Our Dear Leader

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I spotted this headline from a magazine:  "Trump Is in Way Over His Head in Iran."

Please. Trump is in way over his head in Chuck E. Cheese.

Why, Exactly?

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Why is the U.S. bombing Iran?

By way of justification, Donald Trump claimed Iran was building nuclear missiles that could "soon" reach the U.S., an assessment his own government contradicted. He also indicated he wants regime change, which he said he'd never pursue with American lives.

Other potential explanations being bandied about include this is Trump's method of distracting from the Epstein files; Iran has so much oil; we're doing the bidding of Israel; he wants to create a crisis so he can declare a national emergency.

Since the reasons are unclear, I'll throw in another possibility. As a lame duck president and with his poll numbers shrinking, Trump is done seeking Americans' approval, and wants to reshape the Middle East permanently into the countries of Israel, United Donald Junior, Eric Emirates, Ivankastine, Tiffany Arabia, and Bahrain Barron.

The Trump Truth

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On the night he was re-elected president, Donald Trump told supporters he was "not going to start a war, I'm going to stop wars."

That was about 16 months ago. Since then, the "peace president" has launched military operations across three continents, culminating now in trying to bomb Iran into regime change.

Trump has turned out to be more interventionist than Ann Landers.

This Week's Quote

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The president, ever mindful of records that allow him to say he was the first, the best or had done the most, succeeded clearly on one thing: he beat his own record for the longest, clocking in at just under 1 hour, 48 minutes.

Steven Sloan on last night's State of the Union address

Source:  Associated Press

Poor Straight Women

 

Full Speed Ahead

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Donald Trump said yesterday that he's sending a hospital boat to Greenland, the Danish territory he's so hot to acquire. Apparently it's escaped his notice that Greenland and Denmark have free, nationalized health care systems.

But we don't. Many Americans, myself included, can't get adequate medical care owing to the appalling costs.

The solution to my problem is obvious. Since fixing the American health care system is a non-starter, it's up to me to alert The Donald that my apartment sits on top of rare earth mineral resources.

Before you know it, I'll have health care, a seat on the Kennedy Center board, and a pardon for a crime I haven't committed yet.

Can't Argue With Either

 

Credit to David Hayward, aka the Naked Pastor