Humor about all things LGBTQ

  • January 2022
  • Image by Pablo Nidam from Scopio

    This Week's Quote

    It's so tiring making love to women, it takes forever.  I'm too lazy to be a lesbian.

    Camille Paglia

    Source:  Wit

  • Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay 

    A Golden Opportunity

    In honor of Betty White's 100th birthday yesterday, a TV station in Orlando posted an unusual weather map

    Rose, N.Y., was expecting snow. Dorothy, Ark., would likely reach a high of 54 degrees. Blanche, Tenn., would be lucky to top 50 degrees. And Sophia, W.Va., would barely be above freezing.

    If you don't get it, you'll never be allowed to live in Gay, Ga.

  • Image:  Facebook

    Saint Betty

    If you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, you have the chance to witness ecclesiastical history.

    This Sunday evening the DFW Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will present "The Sainting of Betty White!" On the eve of what would have been White's 100th birthday, the Sisters plan to perform a "blessing and Sainting" of the recently deceased Golden Girl, followed by drinks at a lesbian bar and a gay bar.

    Normally the canonization process takes years, but the Sisters are in a hurry. White worked tirelessly for animals, and the Sisters want to use the occasion of her birthday to spur donations to Dogs Matter, a local non-profit that provides foster care for pooches whose owners are in rehab.

    Betty White. Dogs. Addiction. Drag nuns. The only way the event could get any gayer is if some real priests show up.

  • Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

    This Week's Quote

    Just a reminder that it's time to toss out any holiday leftovers. Food, yes, but also any relatives still in your house.

    Bette Midler

    Source: Twitter

  • Photo by Social Soup Social Media from Pexels

    Canada Cans Conversion Therapy

    Canada has approved a ban on conversion therapy for both children and adults. The bill passed unanimously in the House of Commons and the Senate.

    Can you imagine the American House and Senate passing anything unanimously, let alone a bill that assumes gay and trans people are fine as they are?

    This new Canadian law feels too good to be true. I expect Ottawa to roll out a compensatory law. Like mandatory conversion therapy for anyone who hates hockey.

  • Image by gfk DSGN from Pixabay 

    The Breakdown

    Yesterday in his speech on the one-year anniversary of the Capitol attack, President Joe Biden pinned responsibility for the riot on his predecessor's "web of lies about the 2020 election." The former president's "bruised ego matters more to him than our democracy or our Constitution."

    That was my favorite line, because I believe it's dead-on accurate. Donald Trump is 75 percent ego, 20 percent bile, four percent Filet-O-Fish and one percent mushroom weenie.

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    Image:  Wikipedia

    This Week's Quote

    I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. "Go see your grandmother. Get out of here." That was my first paying gig.

    Wanda Sykes

    Source:  BrainyQuote

  • Image by serazetdinov from Pixabay 

    Public Service Announcement

    It's the fourth day of January. You've stuck to those resolutions long enough.

  • Image:  Wikipedia

    Mad All Over Again

    As I drove home from work today, I listened to a timeline of the events of Jan. 6 presented by "All Things Considered." After just a few minutes, I became as angry as I was that day.

    By the time the host read Donald Trump's sickening tweet from that evening—"These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously and viciously stripped away from great patriots who have been badly and unfairly treated for so long. Go home with love and in peace. Remember this day forever!"—I was swelling with rage.

    Bet you've never seen a pufferfish in a Prius before.

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    Image:  Wikipedia

    Losing Betty

    I've been genuinely surprised at the national outpouring of grief over the death of Betty White, who passed on the last day of 2021, just weeks before her 100th birthday. Somewhere along the way she became the whole country's decent but saucy grandma.

    I knew the queer community would grieve her loss, in part because she supported us. "I don't care who anybody sleeps with," White told Parade magazine in 2010. "If a couple has been together all that time—and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heterosexual ones—I think it's fine if they want to get married. I don't know how people can get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don't worry about other people so much."

    I have it on good authority that God has placed her in charge of a new advocacy group, Mensches for the Protection of Animals and the Reverence of Cheesecake.

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